If We Couldn't Dance
by starbuckfaerie21
Summary: Picks up where "Ship To Wreck" left off.


**If We Couldn't Dance**

**Disclaimer: **Sadly I own neither _Saving Hope _nor Daniel Gillies

**Pairing: **Joel &amp; Alex (or if you prefer Alex &amp; Joel)

**Rating: T**

**Summary: **Picks up where "Ship To Wreck" left off

**Author's Note: **"The Hounds of Winter" belongs to Sting and appears on _Mercury Falling_.

Alex Reid looked up at her husband from the gurney in the ER, her chest tightening with panic.

"Joel, I can't feel my legs."

Joel laid his hand on her arm as she tried to sit up, "No, Alex, just take it easy all right. Let me take a look at you."

Alex took a shaky breath and tried to give herself over to the sound of Joel's voice. When she spoke her voice was barely a whisper, "I'm scared."

He squeezed her hand, "I know Reid. But we'll figure this out together." As he spoke, Joel moved to the foot of the gurney, "Try to wiggle your toes."

Alex closed her eyes and willed her toes to move. She knew she'd succeeded when she heard Joel's voice, "That's it Reid, you got this."

Alex opened her eyes and saw her husband grab a pen from the small table beside the gurney, and poke her gently with the tip. "Alex, did you feel that?"

"Yeah." Alex replied, reaching for his hand, "Joel, you should do a spinal x-ray. Just in case."

He flashed her the Joel Goran grin that always took her breath away, "Stop backseat doctoring Reid. I was just going to suggest that if you'd let me finish the exam."

Alex smiled, "My apologies, Dr. Goran. Please continue."

"Thank you, Dr. Reid." Joel said, caressing her thigh gently, "Do you feel this?"

Alex nodded, "Yes. Thank God, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't feel it when you touch me. If we couldn't dance, or play with the kids, or make love…"

Joel cut off the flow of her words with a kiss, "Hey, everything's gonna be okay. And I promise we'll do _all _of those things as soon as we get to the bottom of this."

"Promise?" Alex asked, grabbing his hand again even tighter than before.

Joel looked into her eyes and nodded, matching her grip on his hand, "I promise. Do you hear me, Alex Reid?"

Alex nodded, still gripping his hand, "Come with me to X-Ray?" She whispered the fear evident in her voice.

"You got it," He replied, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it.

Joel got behind the gurney and steered it toward the elevator. "I can't believe this is happening…The car's probably totaled…We need to make sure that Malanda or Zack can stay with the kids…"

"Breathe, Reid. Panicking won't help. I'll check on the kids as soon as your X-Ray's done. And don't worry about the car. That's what insurance is for. At least you're all right."

"But I'm not all right, Joel! I can't feel my legs…" Alex shouted.

Joel laid his hand on her arm, "You're gonna be fine."

_She had to be._

_The alternative was unthinkable._

"And you look like a million bucks in that dress, by the way." He said, his eyes never leaving hers.

_He always knows what to say._

Alex thought smiling.

"I love you," She said softly, squeezing his hand.

"I love you, too Reid." He replied, kissing her forehead, as he pushed the cart through the double doors into radiology.

"Talk me through the possibilities, Joel." She said, closing her eyes, and leaning back against the pillow."

He nodded even though he knew that she already _knew_ all the possibilities.

"There could be bony fragments in the spine causing the paralysis. The bony fragments could be impinging on the nerves causing the paralysis. There could be swelling in your spinal cord from the trauma of the accident. The effect is probably temporary. In fact, I'd be willing to bet a dirty weekend on it."

Alex nodded, "And the last option?"

"It could be psychosomatic." Joel answered, preparing himself for her inevitable reaction.

"It's not…"

Joel nodded, "Alex, hey, I know." He said, laying his hand on her arm, "We're just going over _all _the possibilities, remember?"

"Joel, baby, _please _tell me that you don't think I'm crazy." She said, looking into his eyes until he felt like she could see into his soul.

He shook his head, "No, Reid._ I'm_ the one who's crazy. I'm crazy about you. Look sexy for the camera. I'll be right back." He whispered, kissing her just before he turned her gently onto her stomach and left the room while the X-Rays were being taken.

Alex smiled as she watched as her husband left her alone in the cavernous, cold room, where the florescent lights burned her retinas and the X-Ray machine hummed softly.

She couldn't help but think back to when she'd been stabbed.

_The hospital feels different when you're the patient._

She thought as she tried desperately to keep still.

_Don't move._

_Don't breathe._

She closed her eyes tightly just seconds before she heard the click of the X-Ray machine.

Joel watched through the glass and waited impatiently for the X-Rays to finish.

It took everything that he had not to run into the room and hold Alex's hand.

He could only imagine how she felt.

But he knew _exactly_ how he felt.

_Terrified._

He couldn't imagine what it would be like for Alex if the paralysis were permanent. His mind was suddenly flooded with images of the things that his wife had talked about.

_Dancing._

_Playing with their children._

_Making love._

If Alex's paralysis was permanent everything would be different.

_Everything except how much they loved each other._

Joel's thoughts were interrupted when the clicking of the X-Ray machine stopped. He was on his feet instantly, anxious to get back to Alex.

He opened the door as softly as possible. "Hey Alex. You all right?"

She nodded, "Let's go look at the film. I want to know what we're up against here."

It was Joel's turn to nod as he took her hand, "Whatever it is we'll get through it together."

"Joel…" Alex began, her voice trailed off, "Before we go in there and find out if our lives are going to change forever, I need you to do something for me."

He reached out and brushed a strand of dark hair away from her face, "Anything." He replied.

_And he meant it._

"Kiss me," She whispered, "For luck."

He flashed her the trademark Joel Goran grin and answered, "You got it."

Joel moved toward her and they were suddenly locked in a passionate kiss.

"Thank you, Dr. Goran." Alex whispered, pulling away slightly to catch her breath.

"My pleasure, Dr. Reid," Joel replied as he lifted her carefully back onto the cart so they could go back down to the E.R. to view the X-Rays.

Once they were downstairs, Joel wasted no time placing the films on the lighted screen so they could view them.

Alex looked at the images carefully for a long moment and then smiled, "There are no bony fragments or nerve impingement."

Joel nodded, and flashed her yet another grin, "Looks like you owe me a dirty weekend, Reid."

Alex smiled, "That sounds good. But I just wish I knew how long the paralysis was going to last.

Joel laid a hand on her arm, "I've got an idea. We could sedate you for a while to give your body a chance to heal itself and get over the shock of the accident. And hopefully when you wake up the swelling and the paralysis will be gone."

"You mean like a coma?" Alex asked, and Joel noticed the panic in her eyes.

_She's thinking about when she was stabbed._

Joel shook his head, putting a hand on her shoulder, "No, just a strong sedative, we'd put you under for a couple hours or so and then wake you up."

"Well, I _have_ been tired, lately." Alex said, smiling slightly. "Will you stay with me while I'm under?"

It was Joel's turn to smile, "Try and stop me, Reid."

"What about the kids? I can't just leave them alone with you here in the hospital."

Joel smiled again, "Thanks for the ringing endorsement of my parenting skills, Alex."

She looked instantly apologetic, "No. Joel, baby that's not what I meant." She said, pulling him close.

"Alex, I know what you meant. But it was fun to watch you squirm for a minute." Joel said smiling. "Are you ready to do this?" He asked, taking her hand in his.

After a moment, she nodded and met her husband's gaze, "Joel, I love you. I want you to know that. In case something happens and I don't…"

Before Alex could get any more words out, Joel's lips were on hers. "Don't say that. Don't think like that. You have to believe that everything's going to be okay. Tell me you believe that Alex."

Alex nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, "I do. I'm just scared, Joel."

He pulled her into his arms and held her there, pressing his lips against her forehead, "I know," He whispered, "But you don't have to be. I'll be here with you the whole time. And when you wake up, we'll go dancing."

Alex sighed, "Let's get this over with." She whispered, reluctantly pulling away from the comfort and safety of her husband's arms.

"Okay, I'll go grab Dr. Beauman and I'll be right back." He said, kissing her lips once more before he left the room.

The next thing Alex knew, Dr. Beauman was in the room standing next to Joel preparing an I.V. and setting up various monitors.

Alex reached for Joel's hand, and held it, "I love you. Promise you'll stay with me."

Joel nodded, and leaned forward to kiss her, "I love you too, Alex. Sweet dreams."

She felt the stick of the I.V. as it went into her arm and almost immediately started to feel drowsy.

"Okay, Alex you should start to feel drowsy in just a few minutes." Dr. Beauman said.

_You don't say._

"Dr. Goran, kiss me goodnight," She mumbled sleepily.

Joel smiled, "With pleasure, Dr. Reid." He replied, kissing her softly.

His lips on hers were the last thing she felt before she drifted off to sleep.

_Alex knew she was dreaming and she gave herself over to it._

_There was music playing in the background. It took her a moment to name the familiar haunting melody but her husband spoke before she could._

"_The Hounds of Winter." Joel whispered his breath warm and comforting in her ear._

_She and Joel were standing in the middle of a ballroom. She was wearing the same black dress that she'd planned to wear to dinner that night._

"_You look like a million bucks, Reid." Joel whispered in her ear, as he took her in his arms and moved her gracefully across the floor dipping her slightly._

"_Thank you, Dr. Goran," She replied, brushing her lips against the mole behind his ear. And I have to say I love what you do to a suit."_

_Joel smiled, wrapping his arm around her waist as they moved across the floor. "I appreciate the compliment Dr. Reid."_

_Suddenly the sound of her children's laughter filled the room and Alex turned to look as her son and daughter ran onto the dance floor._

_Luke was dressed in a miniature version of his father's suit._

_Charlotte was wearing a pale pink dress and tights. Her dark hair was the mirror image of her mother's and it bounced up and down in tight curls._

_The children ran happily onto the dance floor and Alex danced with Luke while Joel gathered Charlotte in his arms and spun her around._

_Joel looked around the busy dance floor for a moment and then glanced at his daughter, "Where's your little brother, angel?"_

_Charlotte looked at her father and giggled, "Teddy's not here yet, Daddy. He's still inside Mommy's belly._

_Joel looked from his daughter to his wife and smiled, "Alex is there something you want to tell me?"_

_It was Alex's turn to smile, "Well, it was supposed to be a surprise but since somebody just spilled the beans…"_

"_Sorry, Mommy," Charlotte mumbled, looking down at her shoes._

_Alex wasted no time crossing the room and scooping her daughter up in her arms, making her squeal with delight. "That's okay, baby girl. I was going to tell Daddy tonight anyway."_

_She looked at her husband, who was still smiling, "Joel, I'm pregnant."_

_He put his arms around Alex as they started dancing again._

Alex could hear voices but they sounded as if they were coming from far away.

"Daddy, when's Mommy going to wake up? I'm tired. And I want to go home."

She'd recognize he son's voice anywhere.

_I'm right here, little man. _

She thought, desperate to push through the sedative induced haze, hoping that the temporary paralysis had worn off.

"I know you do, buddy. Mommy will be awake soon."

_Joel._

The very sound of his voice made her feel better.

_Safe_

_Warm_

_Comforted_

_I need to wake up._

_I have to know if the paralysis is gone._

_I have to tell Joel about my dream._

"Mommy wake! Mommy wake!" Charlotte's excited voice interrupted her thoughts.

"That's right, angel. Mommy will be awake soon." She heard Joel reassuring their baby daughter.

"Mommy hurt?" Charlotte asked.

_The hurt in her daughter's voice made her heart ache._

"No Charlotte," She heard Joel reply. Mommy's going to be okay. She's just resting."

Joel got to his feet and took his wife's hand.

It was his touch that drew her back to consciousness.

"Hey," she whispered, as she slowly opened her eyes.

Joel looked right at her and smiled, "Hey yourself, Reid. How're you feeling?"

Alex shrugged, "I just want to know if I can move my legs."

Joel smiled again, "So give it a shot." He said as he pulled the blanket away from her legs so they could both get a clear view.

Alex took a deep breath and watched as her body moved the way she willed it to.

Joel was giving her that irresistible grin and she pulled him into her arms.

"You were right. I owe you a dirty weekend. Let's go home." She said rising slowly to her feet, and shivering in the black sleeveless cocktail dress that she still wore.

Without waiting for her to ask, Joel draped his jacket over her shoulders, as she slipped into her heels and slung Charlotte's baby seat over one arm.

Joel glanced over to the char where Luke was sleeping peacefully. "I'll get him," Joel said softly as he lifted his son into his arms.

The family got into Joel's car and within minutes they were home.

Once the kids were asleep, Alex and Joel sat on the couch in the living room wrapped in each other's arms for a long time.

"I had a dream earlier." Alex whispered, her head pillowed on her husband's chest.

"Want to tell me about it? Joel asked, kissing her neck.

Alex nodded, "We were both dressed up and dancing. Charlotte was Luke's age and she was beautiful."

"Of course she was. She looks just like her mother." Joel replied, still smiling.

"In the dream, I was pregnant with a little boy. His name was Teddy."

Joel grabbed her hand and held it tight, "Alex, are you saying you're ready to have another baby?"

Alex nodded, "I was thinking Daniel for his middle name. Theodore Daniel Goran Reid."

Joel leaned toward her and kissed her on the lips. I like the sound of that. Looks like our next dirty weekend's gonna be dirtier than I thought.

Alex laughed out loud and let him carry her upstairs to the bedroom.


End file.
